Ice and Snow, ME and My Dog

I've been intending to write a post here, but every time I open the laptop to do so, I get distracted by something else on the internet and lickety split it is supper time and I need to get going on Princess's supper, my supper, etc etc.

Reading: Supersurvivors (2014) and A Memory of Light (2013). I would like to say more, but just can't right now.

First major snowstorm of the year I think, happening today.

Listening: Podcast called Breathing Pattern Disorder and implications in Long Covid (2022). This is the distraction that got me today. One of my diagnoses. The other is ME.

On Monday I skated at the Reservoir. First time in years! I was shaky but I did it.

On Tuesday I skated again, this time with Princess. She was so delighted to chase me across the ice, running as fast as she could, ears flapping, tail going hard. It was such a moment of joy but we both paid for it. With congestive heart failure she shouldn't have been running. In my defence I didn't know she would do that, that she would be so excited. I thought she would just meander around like she usually does.

With my ME, any activity like that makes me sick for the rest of the day. It's a trade off. Same for Princess.

I didn't skate today, I wanted to, but Princess was with mr and I didn't want her running again. I thought I would come back later without her but then the snow picked up and I knew I needed a break anyway so I didn't go.

There's a family who live near the Reservoir who clear the snow off the ice, when the ice is thick enough and they are not out skiing. They were there today, skating and clearing snow.

I hope there will be more skating days.

Memory work

A couple of weeks ago I bought a painting. It's very Maud Lewis-ish, but I like it. I have another painting by the same woman, I told the saleslady that when I bought it. She said the artist will be thrilled to hear that someone out there is actually collecting her stuff.

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First major winter storm last night coincided with doctor's appointment first thing the following morning, necessitating getting out early to shovel snow. Not a fun time. On top of that, last night I was sifting through paperwork trying to find something or other and while I never did find whatever I was looking for, I did find the receipt for having paid the last installment of my property tax and noticed for the first time that the low income seniors rebate had not been applied to it. I then hunted for evidence that I had in fact applied for the rebate, and found none of that either. Not even a form that had been left unfilled and undelivered, just nothing.

So after the doctor appointment I trekked over to town hall to see if they had any evidence that I had applied for it and of course they did not. As the clerk said, they would have applied it if I had submitted the form. Well, I knew I was suffering from brain fog and memory issues, but this was one expensive memory slip. Sometime back in the early days of the pandemic I had requested that my bills be emailed instead of mailed, and that went okay for the first year but in the second year I was late paying two bills because I forgot, and I never applied for the tax exemption. I requested to go back on paper billing, so much for saving trees. The clerk muttered that she could never do online bills.

My doctor suggested that I get my memory tested, there's a local company doing some kind of study of dementia and looking for people to do memory testing on. My doctor doesn't think I have dementia but it might be useful to see how much the CFS has affected my memory. She also recommended a couple of other things which I asked her to write down for me otherwise I would never remember them. I've already forgotten what they were, but I have a piece of paper that she wrote on!

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I am not recovering very well from my mini-vacation, there seems to be way too much stuff to do to prepare for winter and I am not sleeping well. The bout of snow shovelling this morning has flattened me, I spend way too much time in a recliner. I have books to read but no energy to pick them up.

I was joking with someone else who has insomnia, we were talking about our evening "cocktails", how every night we look at an array of pills and herbals and whatnot and try to guess which combo will work tonight. So far, I am not guessing very well at all. 

I received an email last night from a friend who said she hoped I was more relaxed now, that got my back up. I fired off a reply saying relaxing was not my problem, imagine having a bad 'flu for months/years on end and maybe that would convey a little of how I feel. Saying that to her feels like crushing baby bunnies, I know she means well she just misses the point. But I'm tired of it.

Okay, I remember now one of the things the doctor thought I should do: apply to get CBT-I (cognitive behaviour therapy for insomnia) at the regional hospital. And get my blood sugar checked, I am apparently now in the "pre-diabetic" range. Still can't remember the final thing, or at least I think it's the final thing. Good thing I have that piece of paper … somewhere.

More May Snow!

It is snowing today. I think we have had more snow so far in May than we did in all of April. The pattern of two days of precipitation for every sunny day still holds. Yesterday I was particularly grumpy about it all. I am running out of wild bird seed and a grey squirrel keeps raiding my bird feeder so I am getting very annoyed with him or her. I rap on the window when I see it and it stops to look at me but then carries on with its raid. I have to put my boots on before I can go outside to stand under the feeder to yell at it. I used to take a broomstick with me but that proves to be unnecessary, the squirrel runs away when it sees me advancing toward the tree the feeder is hung in. I think it has made the calculation about how long it takes me to get out there and has decided to keep stealing seeds as long as it can before I get too close.

Hapi fell on the basement stairs twice yesterday, her rear end is weakening. She still wants to go down there so as much as possible I have to escort her, particularly coming up the stairs which is when she is most likely to fall. My mechanic's dog died as a result of a broken back from falling on a staircase so I am very conscious of that danger. In addition to falling she also had a "bowel accident" in the night. I am carrying on as usual but not thrilled about the possible implications.

I was talking to a friend on the phone the other day and she was telling me about a mutual friend who was tired of all the social distancing restrictions and didn't believe they were necessary. The mutual friend was saying that she was no longer paying attention to it all. My phone friend was thinking to herself, Okay! Good to know! We laughed and agreed that the mutual friend was someone we would definitely be physically distancing ourselves from, as much as we otherwise liked her. Frankly, as much as I previously disliked and disrespected our provincial premier before all this, I hugely respect his overly cautious approach to the pandemic. I don't know if I would vote for him again, but he would not be the worst choice especially in a time like this.

From my reading of current statistics and of the history of the 1918 pandemic, the overly cautious approach seemed to prevent the most deaths in both the short term and the long term. As well, after the 1918 pandemic local economies bounced back much quicker in jurisdictions that imposed greater restrictions for longer periods of time.

The main problem with trying to take lessons from 1918 though is the dearth of reliable information. The gathering and analysis of statistics was not that great in those days. In addition, all countries involved in The Great War were suppressing that information as much as possible; the only countries that allowed information about the pandemic to leak were neutral countries, such as Spain. Which is why it is often called the Spanish Influenza: Spain was one of the first countries in which the media were covering what was really going on. But the estimates of the death toll from that pandemic range from a few millions to well over 50 million (possibly up to 100 million), which gives an idea of how difficult it is to draw any definitive conclusions from the available statistics.

Already we are seeing the same thing with this pandemic. There is wide variation in symptoms and not a lot of mass and repeated testing. So we really can't say for sure how many people have contracted the disease or died of it or what the death rate really is. Our ability to gather that evidence is far greater than it was in 1918, but still we have a problem with it.

The tulips in the picture are from my garden, their stems broke before they could open up. One of them is supposed to be a red and white tulip in honour of Canada's 150th anniversary in 2017, but as you can see it is not. But it is a lovely colour nevertheless.

May snow

Lacking in sleep and cranky. I had a topic in mind to post butI'm just not in the mood now. It rained most of yesterday, with a brief late afternoon break for a dog walk but then back at it for the rest of the evening and night. The wind picked up, snow started blowing around and something or other was banging on the front porch outside my bedroom. I had to get up a couple of times to find out what it was and stop it. Now I can spit nails.

I drove to the Reservoir with Hapi just because I couldn't face walking. It has stopped snowing but it is still very windy and cold. A couple of people greeted me with waves and smiles and I tried to respond in a halfway friendly manner but really wished they hadn't noticed me. Maybe it was Hapi that they were smiling and waving at.

So far May has been despicable and there is no end in sight.