Death days and birth days

Hapi enjoying springtime sun and water

Today the first news I heard upon waking up was that of Prince Philip's death. I have heard nothing but good things about him, so it is a little sad, but having lived almost a century one certainly cannot pity him. Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth once visited my little town, I didn't see them at the time but a friend of mine had a brief but fun conversation with Prince Philip. He was the outgoing sort who enjoyed chatting with strangers. The friend was a single and handsome young man, considered "a catch" at the time, so some of us got a hold of an official colour photo of the Queen and scrawled "Love, Liz" across the bottom and posted it above his desk at work. But it was Philip he chatted with, not "Liz".

I've been having phone chats throughout the pandemic with an old friend on the other side of the country, we met in college back in the '60s in Toronto. She was a devout Baptist, I was a pragmatic agnostic, we both engaged in long after-midnight philosophical debates over wine, cigarettes and sometimes hard liquor. We only attended that college for one year, after that we went our separate ways and had very different lives, but we maintained the relationship through long absences and surprise get togethers over the decades. Now she is dying. So among other things we talk about what happens when you die.

She has already signed all the necessary papers for palliative care and medical assistance in dying, she just doesn't know when she will do it or even how she will decide. For all of her life she has believed in some kind of afterlife but now at death's door, she is reluctant to pass over. At the same time, she would like to be conscious at the moment of death, but the doctors keep upping her dose of morphine and she is afraid that she will pass into unconsciousness before the moment of death. She is not sure what she believes now. Her very strong Baptist upbringing still influences her, but she has dabbled in Buddhism, Hinduism and Judaism. Up until recently she was a member of the local Anglican Church but I don't know if she still is. Apparently there was some altercation that made her think twice about her membership, however she has not talked to me about it, so I don't know if that was resolved or not.

Not all of our conversations are so weighty, sometimes we talk about our dogs and the silly things people in our lives do, sometimes we go on at length about our various physical symptoms of illness and age. Our conversations are sometimes brief (less than 30 minutes) because she is tired, and sometimes they go on and on for hours; I have to beg off to go to the bathroom.

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday, which occurred a couple of days prior. Four of us got together for wine, cake and snacks in the afternoon. Rather than "blow" out the candles, I fanned them with my hand, which took a really long time. Two of us are already vaccinated once, one has an appointment and the fourth is waiting for her turn to make an appointment. My birthday gifts are eclectic: a small jar of gummy bears, a slightly larger jar of homemade salsa, and a print of a painting created by one of us. A good time was had by all. The artist amongst us will be showing some of her paintings in a group show next month so we all hope to attend.